How pop-culture desensitised you and me to man-hating/bashing, and why it’s an issue for all of us- Part 2

Olu Yomi Ososanya
6 min readJun 10, 2023
Photo by christopher catbagan on Unsplash

CONTINUATION FROM

11- Politicians let us know men are disposable : When the Ukraine war broke out, women and children were able to leave but abled bodied men were forced to stay behind to fight and die.

Yet we have a former United States Senator, Secretary of State and Presidential candidate saying

“Women and children are the primary victims of conflict and of climate change and there is no place that unfortunately, tragically, shows us that more dramatically than Ukraine today- Hilary Clinton.

Men are the direct victims because they either die fighting in wars or if they survive many them live with PTSD, find it hard to readjust to society and are often neglected by the same government that drafted them.

Before you say “But who started those wars. MEN”

Are you suggesting that in the history of civilisation No Queen, Female Prime Minister, President or Military officer has fought a war, sent troops out to battle?

It’s happened for as long as humans have fought wars.

The UN Women, twitter account on International Women’s Day posted an infographic stating.

“Of all Journalists killed in 2021 ,11% were women. In 2022 this was 6%. STOP TARGETING WOMEN JOURNALISTS”

How are the wife and children of the 89% of murdered journalist meant to feel when a UN page makes posts like this?

Is a Husband/Father expendable? Is his death is acceptable or less relevant?

12- Violence on behalf/behest of a woman: The world remembers Will Smith assaulting Chris Rock at the 2022 Oscars after the G.I Jane joke. There was a lot debate on social media.

Women and some Men on social media cheered Will for “defending his wife”.

Was she in physical danger? Was she the only subject of a joke that night?

She was not the only subject of a bald joke that night.

The 3 female presenters, Wanda Sykes, Amy Schumer and Regina Hall made bald jokes about LeBron James.

Should someone have stepped on stage to slap them?

Is “toxic masculinity” done on behalf or defence of a woman now a good thing? A noble thing?

If so why?

If it was one of the female comedians from that night who made a joke about Jada would the same people expect Will to defend his wife?

We know the answer to that.

Society and Media is quick to shout MISOGYNY even when its not misogyny but a small disagreement or unpleasant interaction between a man and a woman.

But never calls out daily Misandry on shows like The View, The Real, The Talk and other shows where men are disparaged and their pain is celebrated.

Why is society desensitised about Female on Male violence?

Self-defence mode from a man approaching in a threatening manner is valid.

But why are we ok with it when it’s not self defence? But anger or ego.

But a woman whose default mode is to throw hands with:

A stranger in a shopping mall,

Another woman at the salon

Another Walmart customer who grabbed the same jean jacket

Siblings/Cousins/Aunties at a family reunion

Any man unfortunate enough to be in a relationship with her.

People can make all the arguments about how women experience domestic violence more

Or realise that with many male victims of female abuse the men are

Too embarrassed/desensitised to report being her victim

Don’t recognise that being kicked, punched, have things thrown at them or too scared to sleep in the bed after a fight are NOT default settings of living with a woman.

Know he will be blamed for provoking her

Assume that he cheated and she found out

Assume with zero evidence that he hit her first

Know the Police wont take it seriously and will mock them as well as anyone who finds out he “allowed” a woman to beat him up.

IT’S NOT A COMPETITION. THERE ARE NO MEDALS FOR PROVING WHO SUFFERS MORE.

ALL victims deserve all the help they can get.

ALL abusers should be prosecuted.

Do we really want a world where your boys are constantly shown that nobody cares about them?

That your son or nephew being a victim of physical or sexual assault is a joke to most people and he is expected to “man up” and move on?

What message does that send to young boys who aren’t raised in a loving home?

Those who were raised on survival. Grew up with no guidance in the home.

Why should they care about being gentlemen or chivalrous or treating women like the fairer sex, when they see media, society and women have no problem exploiting that loophole to disrespect him?

Socialised misandry what creates Red Pill, MGTOW and why Andrew Tate so easily found a following.

People raised on survival will do ANYTHING to ANYONE to avoid being seen as an easy target, seen a punk, a weakling. They do not see gender.

That’s the kind of person to pull a knife on you for bumping into them in the streets and that is not good for women.

No matter who much media, society and feminists want to deny the existence and danger of Misandry.

Like a boomerang it will find its way to come back and affect innocent women.

Misandry exists. It’s everywhere around us in society:

It’s so bad the average male does not even recognise it when he is a recipient of it because it’s been so normalised in his lifetime.

Millennials are desensitised to violence because we were raised on rated R films like Robocop, Commando, Rambo, The Terminator etc

That’s how most of society male and female are desensitised to misandry.

Men and Women are victims of violence in a film, 8 men brutally assaulted or killed and 2 women, the outrage will only be about those 2 women and labelled as Misogyny.

Does that person hate violence or only hates it when the victim is female?

Would you want such a person taking a police report from your son or nephew assaulted by a woman?

Would you want such a person attending to your son in an ER after he’s been assaulted by a woman.

It’s in trending social media posts of women saying “kill all men” “men don’t deserve anything” “i hate all men” yet they don’t risk losing their accounts or jobs.

Misandry is alive and daily growing but its

Not seen as a big deal,

Something deserved/justified.

Men should take it. Female punches and slaps cant harm you . Suck it up.

Previous generations of women suffered so it’s men’s turn to suffer.

WHY I’M CONCERNED AND YOU SHOULD BE TOO.

I have 10+ nephews all under the age of 13 and i don’t want a world that tells them they should accept assault & violence as penance for being male.

Do you want your sons, nephews, godsons to be punished for things they didn’t do? Know nothing of?

You can’t cancel out Misogyny with Misandry

There is too much collateral damage on both sides. Victims of paranoia, transfer of aggression, vicarious revenge.

Too many innocent civilians minding their business get hit by the projectiles from either side and vengeful militants determined to kamikaze members of the other sex.

I want a world that’s safe and works for BOTH my nephews and nieces and this dangerous social Over-correction is not it.

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Olu Yomi Ososanya

Writing: the #DearNephew Letters to our young men. Focusing on Dignity, Accountability, Self optimisation & improvement