Learn this Super Power even The Hulk doesn’t have
Why you MUST get comfortable with some people not liking you(its a strength)
Not even Jesus was liked by everyone, he still isnt. So why try?
“Do Not Live to Satisfy the expectations of Others”― Ichiro Kishimi,
Have you ever entered a new place/space and did you best to make connections?
Whether that’s moving to a new town.
Starting a new job
Taking up a class
And you crashed and burned at making a connection with the pre-existing group?
Or you’ve been cordial and friendly with someone but you get the strong sense they dislike you and cant figure out any valid reason?
We’ve all been there.
Humans are social animals so we form groups, the first being the nuclear family.
Outside of family, we have neighbours, friends, co-workers, the marketplace.
Children make friends and form groups when they get to school and there are mutual interests or traits which link them. Each member of the group, by default, wants to remain in favour and enjoy the perks of the group.
This results in groupthink and not objecting to the consensus even when you inwardly disagree.
This doesn’t change in adulthood and the workplace, so you might as well build muscle from an early age.
Get comfortable being uncomfortable.
Get comfortable with your friends not agreeing with you and being upset with you for sticking by your convictions.
This is not the same as being stubborn, egotistical or unreasonable.
Have the courage to be disliked temporarily or even permanently by friends, schoolmates, co-workers and others.
Jesus, his disciples and the Apostles were disliked by the Pharisees, Scribes, Roman Ruling class and many people whose lifestyle choices the gospel exposed and opposed.
The least effective Pastors in the world(salvation, great commission & discipling) are those who are terrified of being disliked, upsetting anyone and losing congregation members.
So they pander, coddle, dance around relevant issues and remain politically correct, becoming ineffective in the key thing.
Understand that when you have integrity you will stand alone a lot of times. A LOT OF TIMES.
Even some friends will disappear to avoid blast radius.
With any moral stance or unpopular position in the 21st century you are swimming upstream while everyone else is moving with the tide.
You’ll be called: backwards, narrow minded, bigoted and “……..phobic”, misogynist, sexist, Nazi or whatever current buzzword launched to shame one into silence, grovelling or exile.
Accused of hate, erasure and wanting harm to come upon certain groups whose lifestyle your values disagree with.
It’s all part of their tactics to shame you into compliance and break your resolve.
Remember that scene from the movie BRAVEHEART(1995) when he’s given a chance to save his life, compromise everything he’s fought for by asking a tyrannical King for mercy?
He refuses and choses death before dishonour, yelling FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM.
His refusal to save his own skin inspired the Scots to keep fighting for freedom.
Jesus and the apostles faced a lot of opposition from society. They were accused of a lot of things, beaten and imprisoned.
Many early Christians were ostracised by their family as in several African, Asian and Middle East countries today.
Be at peace with all men as it is within your ability but get comfortable with people rejecting you.
This is within your control and ability, people liking you and accepting you is not within your control.
Don’t spend time and energy on things worrying about or trying to change things which are out of your control.
When you are codependent on the acceptance and approval of the crowd, their criticism and rejection will cripple you.
In his book The Courage to be disliked, Ichiro Kishimi writes
“The courage to be happy also includes the courage to be disliked. When you have gained that courage, your interpersonal relationships will all at once change into things of lightness.”
Humans are fickle and their emotions are not a reliable parameter to make life decisions.
Most of humanity goes with whatever is most popular and where the wind will carry them, as long as they aren’t alone.
Nobody achieves a remarkable life concerned about being liked by everyone.
If Jesus who raised the dead, healed life long diseases, fed 9000 people. Yet still had people trying to stone him to death, throw him off a cliff, eventually asked for him to be crucified instead on Barabas.
Why do YOU think everybody must be cool with you?
WHAT TIPS DO YOU HAVE TO GAIN THE COURAGE TO BE DISLIKED? PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT.
